"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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