I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
