im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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