the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
