Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
