Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
