it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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