i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
