Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
