oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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