Quick, to the slutcave!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
