ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
