I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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