i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
