Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
