i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
