I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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