I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize