the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
