Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
