how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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