Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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