My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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