I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
