their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
