You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
