I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
false alarm. still invincible.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
