It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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