I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
