Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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