Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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