wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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