if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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