Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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