I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
