that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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