You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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