All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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