I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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