these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
