my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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