HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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