if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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