so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
