My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize