sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
