Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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