I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
