Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we're making bets on your personal life
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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