we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
