was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
