So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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