I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
