Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
