would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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