As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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