Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The air was thick with penises
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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