We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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