We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm sobbing to NWA
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
