I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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