is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
