I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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