We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
