i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
