You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
