im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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